hhhmmmm kay!

So I finally got the results back from the doctor’s for my bloodwork… For some reason it was sent to the ex’s house??? weird!

No Lyme’s Disease
No Lupus
No Rheumatoid Arthritis- I still think I have RA and will have the doc refer me to a rheumatologist.
Glucose within normal limits
Iron was good 11.2 YAY! (should be 12 but I’ll take that anyday.. much better than how it used to be and especially since I”m vegetarian)
Cholesterol is bad…. 244! Better than it used be, but still not good.

Saturday, I took my daughter to get her 8th grade graduation dress! Oh my that was fun `;~) I also bought her her very first pair of heels! And… They are purple peep-toe 1.5 inch heels. My baby girl is growing up!!! Her dress is perfect for both her graduation and her sister’s wedding. She also had the perfect sweater top to go with the dress. So that is a Double Triple Woot!!! I can’t wait to get pictures of her all dressed up!

She also made me a cake for mother’s day and it was delicious! Yes, a week late, but she didn’t get a chance to make the cake the weekend before.

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I just realized that you have to check the box on other blogs for you to get emailed when another comment is posted 😦 So if I’ve not responded to someone on another blog, I’m sorry. I’m still getting used to blogger!

You who open the vault of Heaven

Song To The Secret Name Of The Star Goddess (Mar ’02)
You Who Open The Vault Of Heaven
Out Of The Blackness
Comes Spinning Of Stars


By T. Thorn Coyle – http://www.thorncoyle.com/

This chant has been going through my head on a regular basis since the retreat last fall. It is one of the most beautiful and powerful chants I know. You can hear a recording of it here. I had an amazing experience while singing and dancing this chant that I am changed `;~)

And as I’ve been trying to decide whether I want to start my 2nd degree training, this chant has come to more and more often. I’ve listened to my fears and that nasty voice in the back of my head. Reasoned out why all of those things are true and all of those things are false. For in everything there is a grain of truth and a pinch of deception.

I think the thing about fears is that the longer you deny them, the stronger they become. Until they become this great big monster that eats you all up. Then what do you have left? Absolutely nothing. The seed of most fears is a real event in a person’s life. What may seem a ridiculous and unreasonable fear of butterflies could have stemmed from a traumatic experience of a child getting her blood taken at the hospital where they glued a fake butterfly onto a needle to help ease the children’s fears or to disguise what they were doing*. You can’t know or understand why another person fears something. Sometimes, they themselves may not know.

Regardless, fears are real and the more you deny them the stronger they become.

It’s funny, I never used to be a fearful person until my life went to hell in a handbasket  a year ago. If I was asked what my fears were, I would have said it was fear itself. I have always feared what fear will do to me, will I freeze when faced with it, will I push past it and get done what needs to be done?

I’ve always been able to push past it and get through whatever needed doing, but this last year has been harder, the voices more insistant. So this year, I’m putting on my big girl panties and getting down to what is.

So I’ve submitted my letter of request and am moving forward. I’m looking at doing things I’ve put off for too long. No more excuses!

It is what it is and it too shall pass!

So Mote it Be!

Just a few of my witches

Here are just a few of my witches. Some I have at work and cannot take pictures of as we aren’t allowed phones and cameras inside.

Maggi over at Letting Go is Flying gave this to me several years ago. I’ve always loved her! Thanks Mag-a-boo!

My friend Megan, who I’ve unfortunately lost contact with 😦 gave me this witch and one for herself so we have matching witches!!! I even like her greenness! I do so miss Megan and have thought about her half a dozen times this month. I may have to try and find her! Will go through old records at home tonight and see if I can find her email.

This is my house witch Ismeralda Zelda! I found her at a clearance sale when a business in town was closing at least 8 years ago and she instantly told me to take her home. She has been my house witch ever since. Next Ismeralda are two Beltaine wreaths and flowers from my 1st degree initiation in the cupola.

I hope that the rest of my witches are in the boxes I have STILL NOT unpacked because I would be very sad if I have lost them. I also have a knitting witch where she is holding knitting needles and a knitting magick book, a catwitch in a flowerpot holding a broom, and a witchon a box at work.

Oddly enough, the first two have never told me their names. Yes, I do tend name things. I have a magick teddy bear named Balthazar and an owl named Sebastion. My cars have all had names- Ruby, Pearl, Spirit, Bree, and Ja Ja. Ja Ja is very into Jamaican `;~) LOL

This weekend was absolutely lovely.

Saturday I spent my morning cleaning house like crazy. I was sooo tired of how cluttered the place looked. OMG it looks so good right now! I am hoping I can keep it up. It is very much spotless which is totally amazing! That night I had a fantastic date with someone I met at an online dating site. We will prolly have lunch sometime this week.

And mother’s day was quiet and peaceful. Ended up sleeping in wayyyyyy late 😦 Which I was not happy about, but I just couldn’t make myself get out of my cozy bed cuddling Lucy! But eventually I did manage to get up.

Talked to my mom, she is doing pretty good but my cousin is getting worse! I hate that I am here and can’t help and she has to wait for insurance to get their heads out of their collective asses.

Both of my kiddin’s called. My girl wanted to bake me a cake so we’ll do that this weekend when it is just us. I think it is some time for some serious M&M time. I miss that soooo much.

The boy seems to be doing pretty good. He has an appt with a behavorial specialist Thursday. So we are getting closer and closer to getting him better! This weekend he has ROTC Challenge so he’ll be out of town.

I have a huge post about fear in the drafts here and I haven’t decided whether to send it out or not. But I feel like I should. If the thought is eating me like it is, it is something that needs to be said… My makeup post is still in the works. I’m having to redo all the photos and copy as the original was lost in my pc crash last year 😦