HeartStrong = Intelligence of the Heart, Mind & Soul in Balance

HeartStrong has been a keyword for me in the last several years. It has been what I have been striving for, but I have never been able to put into words what this means for me.

Through reading The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature by Harold Buhner, this concept has become so clear to me. However, the doing part, I’m still working on… I wish I had found this book years ago.

I don’t think my life would have been as chaotic in some regards `;~) There was so much that I did not understand about myself and how my perception of the world worked. I don’t think I would have lost so much of myself if I had understood that I was different for a good reason, not because I was fucked up `;~)

granted I may be fucked up in some ways, but not about this `;~)

So, here I am now, trying to find my way back to my path. I find it very interesting that my path is a very grounded path considering, I have very little Earth in my natal chart… The only Earth I have in my chart is Virgo Rising…

There are two camps, about this sort of thing – no element in a chart… Camp 1, says that you don’t have issues with that element for this life engagement. Camp 2, says that you will have major issues with that element.

I think both of them are right in a way. I’m not good with money, I’m not what folks would call grounded, (stop laughing), and I’m full of whimsy `;~) Yet, at the same time, I have a strong connection to Earth and all her creatures. So strong in some cases, that it freaks me out and I run from it which creates an issue. So, yeaaahhhh….

Anyway, two of the major components of my path are dancing and herbs. I find that when I am dancing, I am at my most grounded and centered. Alot of my magick and psychism comes through dancing.

I cannot express to you how much joy I get from teaching dance. I hope that all my students come away feeling even just a smidge of the joy I do and find peace in themselves.

As for herbalism, there is nothing like better than to open the doors to my herb cabinet and just soak in all those wonderful scents. it is as if Earth, Herself, is welcoming me home!

I don’t think there will ever come a day when I wont want to just indulge myself in plants and share with them my wonder and love.

This is why I do what I do `;~)

bb,

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It’s a virtual fantasy land here with rabbits, stars, birds, and feathers `;~)

pendant2

I want to thank everyone who liked my Bead Soup Necklace, I think I will call it “Bambi.” I agree with Amber Dawn Inventive Soul that is definitely shouts out BAMBI `;~) I had so much fun making this necklace! Shannon of For My Sweet Daughter made the beautiful copper etched rabbit pendant and the birdsnest too! Please go and take a loot look at her beautiful work `;~)

I hope to get back into the studio tonight and make some earrings to go with this necklace. So we will see where that takes me `;~)

herb_haul

Right now, I’m so excited cause my huge herb haul came in on Monday and I have been dying to get into them!!! I spent Tuesday night reading up on some ideas and I can’t wait to try them out! I also have a couple custom orders on my plate at the moment that I am really excited about `;~)

I’m also going to try my hand at making incense cones! I have some makko powder that I’m just itching to mix into some of my standard recipes and see how they compare. I might start offering incense loose and cone if it works like I’m hoping `;~)

Peacock  feather tattoo!

I finally got my peacock feather tattoo that I have been wanting for the last year. I’m so very happy with it!

I hope each and every one of ya’ll have a blessedly beautiful weekend `;~)
bb,

Progress comes in the ChooChoo `;~)

So for 2011, the keyword is Creativity. A lot of my focus is well, focused there `;~)

I’ve joined Lori’s Bead Soup Blog Party!!! I’m so excited to be a part of this, it is going to be sooo much fun! YAY! Got my partner today and we’ve decided to do a theme of “The Odd Couple…”

Dance Class is going really well. Lots of fun there. Hoping it picks up and some more folks come in, but it will be what it is `;~)

To help with my endeavors, I found an awesome creative calendar, called “Creating Your Goddess Year! I’m totaly digging it `;~) You should check it out! Her website offers all kinds of goodies too. She has e-courses and meditations.

A New Year to Get Back to Me

I thought I would try a new concept for my ideas and goals for the new year. I usually do write them out, but it doesn’t work so well for me. My goal for 2011 is to be more creative and involved, so what better way to start off the new year of creativity than to be creative?

I have this on my fridge and will keep it there all year so that I don’t get sidetracked and lost in the numbness as I did last year. Last year wasn’t that bad all things considered, no where near as bad as 2009! I don’t think I’d ever really had a year as bad as 2009!!

But anyway, I really want to work on staying focused and staying on track. It is so easy for me to lose focus. I hate that about the A.D.D.

New Years was spent having lunch and just hanging out with a good friend and then I spent the night crafting and making jewelry. It was a great way to start my new year! Being Creative!

Woot!

Positively Positive!

I haven’t posted in FOREVER… Not sure exactly why, I guess I needed to focus more internally for a while. Life has been busy, schedule has been kind of up and down all summer. My routine has been off and it has been a challenge for me.

Lots of really positive changes have been happening for me. I’ve been working on being positive and have seen tremendous changes. Right now, I’m feeling really good about life and that has allowed for many blessings to come into my life.

I’ve found a very special man, who thinks I’m just as special! He is a police officer and a marine. He is also a Gemini of all things… We’ve been seeing each other for three weeks. This relationship is so completely different from every other one I’ve ever been in! At first, his Gemini ways was very off putting. But at the time, I didn’t realize he was a Gemini and then the”duh moment” of realizing this is what I asked for!!!!

I asked for a relationship where my partner was not clingy and dependant upon me. It was the highest priority on my list that I have my time (AND INDEPENDANCE) and I don’t get passive aggressive bs for it! But yet, when I got that I was totally freaked out because I did not realize that I got what I asked for! I thought he was being a jerk. LOL…

But he is so not a jerk! It is taking some getting used to, there are issues, but we actually communicate and talk. We are honest with each other. We talk about what is going on in our lives and we are real with each other.

Yes, it isn’t perfect and neither of us are exactly normal, but it’s working and I don’t believe in perfect or normal anyway `;~) It is taking everything I have to not jump in with both feet!

The second major change in my life is that for the very first time, I’m moving because I want to move and I’m moving into a nicer place that *fits* me better. It isn’t the cheapest place, but that is okay. I am past the “I have to find the cheapest place I can that I can move into RIGHT NOW!”

I just randomly mentioned to a friend that I was thinking about moving and to keep their eyes and ears open for me. Lo’ and behold, my friend says they have a place that may be available soon. Her in-laws own property and their other son lived there until he got sick and had to move in with his parents.. The apartment has just been sitting there for years…

My friend talked her in-laws and viola! I’m in… It is an awesome apartment. A one bedroom PLUS loft with cathedral ceilings and built-in-book shelving all the way to the ceiling.

I am a bit sad that I will not have any yardage or balcony, but I never used them at my current place. On the plus, I will not have to go to the laundry mat anymore!! YAY!!!

I also recieved permission to start my second degree training around Litha. I’m currently deeply fascinated by the current book I am reading, The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature by Stephen Harrod Buhner. It is mind bending in some ways and will be one of my must read books `~)

So all in all, life is very positive right now…

Dancing in the Rain!!!

I posted on my facebook the other day that when your heart and mind are right, things come together as they should… Well, the stars must have aligned perfectly for me cause this has been an amazing week for me!

I had just begun to put out feelers for a new place to live as that gypsy wander lust had begun to enfuse my spirit. I had outgrown my current living arrangement and the lessons I needed to learn here had been learned enough that it is time for me to move on.

I’ve learned that not letting go once the lesson is learned is like driving in reverse with no brakes. Crazy stupid things start happening…. Yeah, can we just say… Car… meet Horse….

So with this in mind, I mention to some friends that I am looking for a place and lo’ and behold, they had one! It is right above the store that I am going to be teaching at this fall and selling my products!

It is an awesome apartment and for once, I’m able to get an apartment I WANT rather than having to settle for what I can afford or move into quickly! It is the most amazing feeling to be able to do that. Yes, it will be a bit tight, but nothing I can’t handle with better budgeting. It also has a washer dryer combo that will save me money too! No more laundry mat!! YAY

This is an amazing apartment with cathedral ceilings and a bookshelf system that goes all the way to the ceiling. It has one bedroom AND a loft. It does not have a yard or balcony, but that is okay. I haven’t used the huge yard I have now and I never sit out on the patio. I’m getting better at keeping indoor plants. My aloe is pretty happy and growing well. My ivy is stable -not really thriving, but still doing pretty well. So I’m hoping to do some indoor plants. Keep some herbs at least.

I’ll be using the loft as my creative studio plus room for the kids. Finally have room for all my work! I can’t tell you how exciting that is. My current place is not conducive to creativity. I can manage to get done things I have to get done, but it is hard to feel creative.

WORD!

I can’t begin to tell you how much I love words. I love to think about how people use words. I didn’t talk until I was around 4 years old. I think I just soaked up all the words and conversations around me. There is a lot you can learn by not speaking and just listening. Later growing up, this love extended to spelling and etymology.

My two favorite books as a child were “Are you My Mother” By P.D. Eastman and “The Foot Book” by Dr. Seuss. Which is only slightly ironic considering my aversion to feet `;~) Interestingly enough, both books are about perceptions.

I listen to not only the words, but the inflections placed on each word. Which word and syllable was stressed, at what point did the speaker get more animated or more closed. How did they phrase their point? Are they passionate about the subject? How does that passion come through in their words? In their actions?

Magickally speaking, how one phrases their words, spells, chants, and even sigils can make a significant difference in the outcome. It is the difference between getting that new job you are hankering for and getting a new responsiblity tacked onto your current job with no monetary increase, I might add. It is the difference in coming up with the money to pay one bill or enough money to pay all your bills.

There is a difference between thinking positively and being positive. For instance, saying “My rent check will not bounce” rather than “I will have enough to pay my rent” or even better saying “I will have $600 dollars to pay my rent and get groceries.”

It took a long time to see this difference, but it is there and it is subtle as all magick is. One niggle of doubt can overcome all the positive. It does not have to be obviously negative to be negative. Negativity is an insidious thing. It is like that monster in your closet, just waiting for a crack.

Here it Comes, Another Dawning of You

Well, my crafting bug has been biting hard for the last couple of days as I’ve found some wonderful blogs on jewlery making, beading, sewing, and more! 

Some of my favorite things I’ve found today? This skull cameo fabric and this boar’s head fabric at spoonflower.com. A hipster shopgirl apron pattern at burdastyle.com and a 6 gored skirt. Spoonflower.com looks amazing and I have some ideas I want to try out for fabrics! Maybe some coven or sigil specific designs.

The BIGGEST <<and I do mean biggest>> Bead give-a-way ever is happening over at Denise Yezback Moore’s blog. A total of 7.5 lb’s of beads!!! And I’m enjoying all the Bead Soup Party folks designs! I’m thinking about getting in on it next time, it looks like way too much fun!

Also, this weekend is my coven’s Litha which I will be hosting. It’s exciting to have my covener’s over and to share my hearth. I’ve been enjoying leading the ritual writing committee and all of the excitement and energy that we pour into what we are doing. Sometimes, when I get down and don’t want to do my work, all I have to do is think about the dedication of my fellow covener’s. When I get ranty, I call my sounding board and I’m done and over it. I hope she knows how much of a blessing she is.

It seems this week has been focused on Meditation and keeping up on your practices in the blogsphere. Everywhere I turn,  there were posts on meditation. Miss Sugar over at  Charmed I’m Sure She brought up several good points. They have been rattling around in my head for a few days. Firstly, meditation may not be for everyone, but there are things that one can do to clear one’s mind and gain focus. I’m going to look deeper into the Japa practice that she mentions as it seems I kind of already do it `;~)

For I’m always chanting and singing ‘Song to the Secret Name of the Star Goddess’ that I posted about here. Nothing moves me like that song does `;~) It sets me at peace almost instantly and I am as content at as a purring cat.  As to the rest of my daily practice? eh…. I dont really follow a routine practice and it has quickly been becoming a focal point that I need to change that.

The cornerstone of my practice has been that I get to see the moon every night as I’m leaving work. She and I commune for a few minutes and then I head home. So in some ways, I am very connected though, I no longer feel that it is enough.

Miss Sugar also talked about what one is looking to accomplish with their magic. Ya know, I’ve never really thought about it like that. I’m also fairly sure that there are plenty of others who haven’t either. I’ve never really *used*  magic to accomplish goals. Except for one instance where my life and my children’s lives were threatened. And no, we didn’t engage in a ‘magical battle,’ with the help of my HP and his partner, another HP, we called magic to persuade the abuser to turn themselves into the police. The results were not as we expected, but he was quickly caught.

Anyway, this post is not about that `;~)  So where was I? hmm, yes, practice and goals. So just what do I want to accomplish? What are my goals?

A strong foundation
I want to build a foundation to keep me up when I falter, as I have almost no Earth in my natal chart, and I tend to be very flighty… The only birt of Earth in my chart is my rising sign, Virgo. This has been acerbated by not having a foundation in my formative years. I moved an average of every three years until I was 23. Roots? What Roots???

Focus Control and Follow-through
I taught myself not to have goals or expect anything because everything was always pulled out from under me when we moved unexpectedly. So while the upside to this was that I was very good at living in the now, I didn’t know how to prepare for the future. I still don’t 😦 Growing up, I never thought about those things as the future was infinitely untangibly beyond my control.

Ahh, control… Why do I let you slip through my fingers, why do I give you away as if you were a bad penny? This is the truth of it. I give you away or I simply refuse to take up your reigns. Honestly, I severely dislike being in control. Why, you ask? Because there is no one else to blame if I am in control.

Oh, yes, I am brutally honest with myself most of the time. *snort*

And follow through? psshshshshsht! Seriously? I have to much fire and air for my ideas to be grounded or manifested at times. I’d rather be the architect and let someone else build it`;~) Once something is no longer a challenge, forget it – I’m not interested. Think outside the box? oh hell yeah… What’s a box, btw?

Honestly, the only time I really complete things is when I am facing near anihilation by deadline `;~) Like, I’m having upto 20 people at my house on Saturday and I still  haven’t mowed, weed eated, or cleaned my house… Though my neighbor is supposed to mow and I have to borrow the weedeater from another neighbor… Nor have I made my dress or my special item for the ritual… And I’ve changed my special item like 3 times now…

So gues what my to-do list is like for tonight… hahahahah!!!!

So just what are my goals?
I want to be able to pay all my bills, including enough to afford a newer car. I want to be able to buy that dress or go to that workshop. I dno’t want to have to know Peter and Paul… I want to be able to create beautiful things. I want to  be of service to my community. I want to achieve my calling.

So know that I know what I want to accomplish and my goals. I just have to figure out how to get there. But I think the figuring it out part is how you get there `;~)

Blessed be my lovelies!

A New Seed Sprouts

I’ve come to realize so many things and had so many thoughts thundering like stampeding butterflies through my mind that I don’t know where to begin. So this may be more rambly than usual.

This is the year where I take care of me, this shall henceforth be known as The Year of Illumination . Last year was the Year of Sorrow. As of today, it has completed it’s cycle. I shall mourn no more for what was. And it is fitting that today, I cried out for all that I’ve lost, all that was, and all that could have been. But ya know, I’m better for having been through it. I do believe that. Gods, I wish it hadn’t happened, but it did so eventually you have to pick yourself up. Yeah, it’s taken me a good year, but I’m coming around.

So this year, I am taking care of what I need. I see a three year plan forming in my head `;~) Maybe it will even happen! hahaha! wouldn’t that be fragglicious! So today, while asstard was getting sentenced to 9 years, I went to the doctor’s and focused on me and mine. ARG and I both had new patient appointments and I am VERY pleased with the new doctor. She listened to us, I never felt rushed, and did not prescribe any meds. She wants to get bloodwork and see what is going on there and make sure there aren’t problems that account for the symptoms/problems.

The biggest part for ARG was to see about getting him some meds. He just isn’t where he needs to be yet. His depression is better, yet it is deeper. If that makes any sense? The talk therapy alone doesn’t seem to be cutting it. So we talked about his depression, his ADHD, his weight and height. I’m so proud that he is 5’6″ and 111 lbs!! This may not seem like much to you, but up until about 3 years ago, he was below 5′ and under 70 lbs…

I have to say, she really really listened to me! I always feel like the doctor’s think I’m full of it when I complain about how much pain I am in at times. She thinks that I have rheumatoid arthritis and I have a long list of bloodwork to get done this weekend!

It’s a brand new year

I posted this on my lj in December, but want to start this new year here and figured my goals would be a good start to a new blog. Along with what I posted on my lj, here is an updated list that I’ve been working on at home.

Magickal Studies

  • Spend at least 1/2 hour a day reading
    • Qabalistic Tarot
    • Sexy Witch
  • Practice/learn one new technique each month
    • January: Triangle of Stillness
    • Febuary
    • March
    • April
    • May
    • June
    • July
    • August
    • September
    • October
    • November
    • December
  • Consecrate my staff (why did the name Hermes/Hermedia just pop into my head when I thought of my staff?)
  • Send a weekly status to my HP/S.

Fitness

  • Dance Again!!!!
  • Yoga
  • Strength Training
  • Weight Loss